Did I Miss the Day They Taught This in Kindergarten?

Do you ever just feel blind-sided by your life? There are times I am driving home from work, and I have a moment where it feels like I am waking up from napping too long, groggy and cranky and headachey, and I realize...this is IT. This is my life. This is how it's playing out. Did I really decide to be here? Did I consciously make decisions that got me to this point in my life? I can't clearly remember it, but somehow it has all become this big jumble.

So here it is. This is the blog of an overachiever who feels like she had done everything BUT achieve since she graduated from college. I went from being organized, "with it," sharp, witty, on track, goal-oriented, to this...FLAKE. I am a flake. The worst part is that I used to hate flakes! I spoke badly of them whenever they were not around, and here I am, a classic flake!!! Instead of being in charge, I feel like am barely keeping up. I am the kid in the back of the class trying to keep up with the algebra lesson for the day, still trying to figure out what we learned the day before. Day late, dollar short. I should have probably named my blog with that phrase. It's one of my favorites because it always feels so true. My life...like showing up for the big test without any sharpened #2 pencils. Sorry for all of the school-related analogies, but sadly, that was the last time in my life when I felt successful, like I was making progress.

This is my intro message. I will be blogging about my feelings and experiences as a 29 year old woman with a job but no clear career path, in a long-term relationship with no hint of a legal committment, who is helping her boyfriend raise his 8-year-old son with no idea what she is doing or how it sometimes brings out the worst in me.

I used to be an example to others for motivation, brightness, potential. Now, I am a flake.

Are you like me? Do you feel like you missed the day in school where they taught you how to keep it all together, how to balance it all, how to know where to go when you don't know where you going? I feel like I aced all of my classes, but missed the real lesson.