It Could Be Worse

I went into the chiropractor's office yesterday.  My back had been hurting all day, my sinuses were draining like Niagra Falls, I had spent an entire day staring at spreadsheets, and I was stressing about my checking account balance (or lack thereof).  My doc said, "Happy Monday to you!", and I said, "Is there such a thing?"  As he proceeded with my adjustment, he told me how we all should appreciate every day because it could be so much worse.  "Think of how bad things are for other people?  You could be very ill or just have tragically lost someone you love."  I grumpily agreed with him, and begrudgingly acknowledged that no matter how heavy my life feels at times, there are ways it could be so much worse.  And it is so true.  I have family and friends who are struggling with things far more devastating than the financial woes or the personal existential crisis that plagues me every day.  It's also true that if you sat around a table with all your family and friends, and everyone put their problems in the middle like baseball cards, willing to trade, you would probably still pull back your own.

We are a nation of whiners.  It's true.  We all have something to gripe about, something that is not quite perfect or just short of how we dreamed our lives to be.  Many of us grumble when the alarm clock goes off, wishing we were lucky enough to not have to work, forgetting about so many of our neighbors who have lost their jobs in the last few years.  We complain about eating too much junk food, filling our gas tanks, depthless piles of laundry, and the ineptitudes of our political leaders.  We never imagine what we would complain about if we were hungry, homeless, and disenfranchised.  We all could use a healthy dose of perspective as we go about our daily chores.  And sometimes, it does make it easier to find the energy to put away all that folded laundry or scrub out that scummy pan from dinner.  But...

I am always kind of irked by people who tell me that, basically, I don't have the right to feel down, frustrated, angry, or tired, because my life could be "so much worse." Yes, things could always be worse. (Even as I type that, I am knocking on wood, because that phrase is far too tempting to fate.)  But just because I have not reached the absolute lowest possible depth of human despair, does that mean my struggles and strife are any less real or any less painful? No, I would not trade places with someone who had a seriously ill child or who had lost a parent early in life. That fact does not make the things I am going through less serious or difficult.  I think that my own personal level of stress gives me the right to say every once in awhile, "today is crappy," and not have to provide justification or supporting evidence for this statement. 

Sometimes, life is just heavy.  And other days, it's really a lot more heavy.  Are we inclined to wallow on the days when it gets too heavy to carry?  Sure.  If our friends and family find that we are taking advantage of the wallowing privelege, do they have the right to give us a figurative shake and say, "Hey!  Buck up!  It could be worse!"  Probably.  But whenever you find yourself saying that phrase, remember that you can't really know all the things that are weighing someone down.  And if you did, do you suppose that you would ever trade your problems for theirs?  Probably not.  So realize that sometimes we don't need a shake.  Knowing that things could be worse doesn't magically lift that weight off our shoulders.  You know what usually does?  Good friends who make you laugh even at your crabbiest.  A family who loves you no matter how much of mess you have made of things.  A little dose of hope that, while things could definitely be worse, they certainly can get better.